How I Faced My Shame and Found My Peace
We all have a “red page.”
It’s that mental list of things we’ve done, ways we’ve failed, and moments we wish we could erase. For a long time, my red page was full. It held things like poor money management, driving drunk, selling drugs when I was younger, and struggling to control my emotions. It was a map of survival and confusion.
But here is the truth I had to learn: You cannot heal what you refuse to look at.
Looking Shame in the Eye
I overcame the weight of my past by looking at every single one of those red lines for what they were. I didn’t make excuses, but I did seek to understand the why.
For me, part of that “why” was discovering I am AuDHD (Autism + ADHD). Learning this changed everything. It helped me realize that my struggle with money wasn’t a character flaw; it was a brain-wiring challenge that required intentionality and a slower pace. It helped me see that my “explosive” emotions weren’t because I was a bad person, but because I hadn’t yet learned the tools for emotional regulation.
The Path of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the bridge between the person you were and the person you are becoming.
- Forgive Yourself: You did what you knew how to do to survive at the time.
- Forgive Others: Release the debt so you don’t have to carry the weight of their actions anymore.
- Ignore the Critics: Do not value someone’s opinion easily, especially if it comes from a negative or toxic source. Their view of your past does not dictate your future.
Choosing Contentment
Today, my life looks different because I decided to be in charge of it. I stopped rushing and started being intentional. I looked at my blessings—the true love I’ve experienced, the people who genuinely care for me, and the fact that I’ve checked off the “bucket list” items like driving the cars I once dreamed of.
When you stop and look at your blessings, you realize that things aren’t so bad. You realize that you have a new day, every single morning, to change the narrative.
Your New Chapter
If you are carrying a map of shame today, I want to encourage you: You are the author. You can acknowledge the old chapters without staying stuck in them. Learn to regulate your emotions, understand how your unique brain works, and choose to be content with the beautiful life you are building right now.
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