Why My Gallbladder Paid the Price for My Generosity

In the village, “community” wasn’t just a word; it was the air we breathed. My late grandparents, Joe and Celia Beetus, raised me with a table-is-always-set mentality. Even as a toddler, I was the “Welcoming Committee,” pulling out chairs and telling guests to sit down and eat.

In the village, you think of the collective before yourself. It’s beautiful. It’s traditional. It’s how we survive.

But then, life moved to the city. And in the city, the rules changed. I kept that “village heart” in a “city hustle” world, and I ended up supporting everyone else’s dreams, problems, and appetites while I starved my own spirit.

The Cost of a “Yes”

People always told me, “Til, you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.” I didn’t know why I was the way I was—I just knew I had to give.

The result? I stressed myself right into the operating room.

I had two organs removed because my body was screaming in a language I didn’t speak yet. I thought surgery was the fix. But guess what? Two weeks after the organs were gone, that burning, clawing stomach pain came right back.

It wasn’t a biological failure; it was a boundary failure. It turns out, I didn’t just need a surgeon; I needed some Omeprazole and a heavy dose of Self-Love.

Forgiveness is Not a Life Sentence

I had to learn that an incident—or a way of living—shouldn’t be a life sentence. Nobody deserves to be a prisoner to their past or their upbringing. I had to forgive myself for not knowing better. I had to forgive others for taking what I offered so freely.

I’m still the girl who wants to feed the world, but now? I make sure I’ve had my breakfast first.

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Grounding Exercises: From “Doing it All” to “Being at Peace”

When your nervous system is fried from over-extending, you need to come back to your body. Try these “Outlaw Grounding” techniques:

1. The 5-4-3-2-1 Reset: * Acknowledge 5 things you see (The dust on the shelf you’re ignoring).
   • Acknowledge 4 things you can touch (The softness of your shirt).
   • Acknowledge 3 things you hear (Classical music, hopefully!).
   • Acknowledge 2 things you can smell.
   • Acknowledge 1 thing you can taste (Like that morning coffee).
2. The “Grandparent Chair” Breath: Sit in a chair with both feet flat on the floor. Imagine our ancestors strength coming up through the floor into your feet. Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 8. You are safe. You are grounded.
3. The Cold Water Shock: If the anxiety is peaking, splash ice-cold water on your face. It triggers the “mammalian dive reflex,” which instantly slows your heart rate. It’s like a “ctrl-alt-delete” for your brain.